Aug 222013

DearDiary3 DearDiary1

Dear diary,

I’m writing with a confession. I’ve been misled recently – lured in by a summer fling with the sea. Memories of past sport and passion for the ocean have blurred my cycle racing focus.

Lack of consistent training has led to a lack of confidence to be able to match or exceed my early season performance: two new club records and the winners trophy for the Wessex inter-club 10 mile TT series sat on our windowsill. It was mental and fun turning myself inside out for these, and I recall the pure emotion and taste of an escaping tear on going over the line for one of them, but perhaps I burnt out? Since these it has been too easy to turn to idillic summer days and evenings playing on the beach and paddling in and on the sea.

The washing line, once always dressed in cycle kit, is now more often a gallery for various swimwear and beach towels. It looks unusual but not out of place. The sea-salty swim kit has a familiar and comforting smell and washing it through is an old ritual for me that provides time to recall and embed memories from the day.

I type this from my turbo trainer so all is not lost! The training is becoming more regular again. The visits to the beach less frequent. My biggest confession is that it’s been an incredible summer – the best – and I don’t regret the family time I’ve indulged in, the ice cream I’ve eaten or the rediscovery of my childhood love of the sea.

With Rob returning to his youthful passion of skateboarding, I wonder if it’s something to do with having children that makes us regress and remember?

I aim to end the season on a high and it’s enjoyable to regather and streamline my dreams and goals again. Some recent gentle evening rides (and some furious strava KOM bashing) has reminded me of my long standing love of the bike and also my potential. The rhythm of the turning wheels is not so different from that of the bobbing waves. I’ll continue to enjoy the sea for a couple more months, but realistically it will be too cold for swimming and SUP by end of October – just in time to start serious work on the bike for 2014 Β πŸ™‚

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 Posted by at 9:43 pm
Aug 082013

For someone who rides bikes a lot you think I’d have learned not to crash by now.

No, no I have not. Not even close to it.

Normally when I come off I get angry. Very angry. Not at the bike. Not at the trail. Not at my skills. Just angry at myself. Why am I so crap? Why do I crash? Why are you destroying a perfectly good ride?

I shout. I curse. I get back on and I get on with riding.

This time was no different. I was riding fast. Following a wheel. Dedication to the line that is being drawn for me. Belief that I can do what was done before me. Trust in my abilities to realise and react. I was wrong.

A rock. A stop. A fall. A curse. A sore leg.

Two weeks have past and the pain has got worse. I’ve not rode in 9 days after realising that trying to pedal was just doing more damage. Off the bike for two more weeks by doctors orders. Compression, drugs, instage sedentary lifestyle until a scan can be done.

I hate knee injuries. But at least my bike is fine.