It’s sat there…………….. in the fridge just next to the beers Michelle left. A box of after eights that’s been calling my name for about a week now. It’s been hard but I’ve managed to resist the temptation to gorge myself, something that’s not happened for a while. The reason for my admirable self control…. it’s less than 48 hours to my Bontrager 12 effort and I’ve tried to be as good as possible on the food & drink front. No alcohol or chocolate for about 10 days and no caffeine for weeks. God it feels like it’s killing me ! So around 1am sunday, I’ll be the one wandering around with a family sized pack of peanut M&M’s and a bottle of whiskey. Give me a kick if I’m not moving.
I’m really looking forward to this and dreading it all at the same time. Although I’ve already done a 12 hour solo, at Bonty last year, it still feels like a big ask of my body and determination. I’m a year older and more stressed. Then add to that, that I came 3rd Vet last year. Just like last year, no one’s going to expect anything of me. Except me. I know rationally that a podium will be extremely hard to repeat, and I’ve set my self a target of top 10. But there’s a bit of me that’s afraid that anything that doesn’t live up to last year will be an anti climax come Sunday. It’s not that I’m used to winning, far from it. I was one of those kids at school that never scored a goal, won a race or even connected with a cricket ball for that matter. I think maybe a lifetime of never doing that well at sport has left extremely determined, but not sure what to do after it’s gone well.
Oh well. The vans packed and I should be sleeping already. Or at least laying there trying to remember what I’ve forgotten. If that makes sense. So, off to bed for me. Here’s hoping the sound of the after eights doesn’t keep me up all night !